Steve Schlafman

Steve is the Founder & Coach at High Output, a boutique leadership development company based in NYC. He is also an active angel investor.

Previously, he was an investor at some of the top early-stage VC's in NYC, including Lerer Hippeau, Primary Venture Partners, and RRE Ventures.

On his morning routine.

I'm a big believer in getting at least seven to eight hours of sleep the night before. Sleep is what sets the tone for the day.

Once I wake up, I try to meditate for 15 minutes, stretch a bit, and then give my daughter her bottle.

Before the virus hit NY, I would hang out with her, have some breakfast and coffee, and head out the door by 8. 

Post COVID, my morning routine has changed significantly but for the better. I’m now up before 6am and I meditate for an hour.

I’ve found this to be incredibly effective to help me manage stress and show up with much greater awareness throughout the day.

After the meditation, I give my daughter her bottle and we typically spend 30min in bed as a family.

This time is truly priceless. Between 7:30 — 8am, we wash up, read a book or two, and then head downstairs for breakfast and news. I’m now starting my work day at 8:30am.

On finding time to reset.

When I first moved to NYC, I wasn’t legitimately drunk but I was drunk on the energy of the city.

I just loved being here. It was like drinking out of a fire hose. Initially, I couldn't get enough of it. 

However, the longer that I’ve been here, the more that I’ve needed to balance city time and country time.

I think city life can really drag you down at times. It can be exhausting. 

Spending time outside in wide-open spaces really calms my nervous system down and it's such a powerful reset.

And I think a lot of New Yorkers, at times, forget that.

It's so important to have that balance.

My wife and I used to try to get out of the city every two weeks. Since the virus hit, we’ve been holed up in the Hudson Valley. It’s been about six weeks.

We miss the city badly and can’t wait to go back, hopefully this summer.

On juggling new projects.

I wish I could do it well.

It's actually something I'm starting to give more thought to for a whole bunch of reasons.

I have my hands in a ton of different endeavors. I'm a coach, I’m a soon-to-be podcaster, I blog, and I'm an investor through a small angel fund.

I’ve been trying to figure out how to optimize days so I can have an office day, a coaching day, what I call an 'advising' day or two, and then an investing day.

It's not only blocking out days of the week, but also structuring hours of each day.

Some of my responsibilities are better suited to the morning. I like having my coaching sessions in the morning, both for myself and my coaching partners.

Most folks are alert and most aware around 9 am. For a lot of people, it's the most creative time of day.

So, I tend to have my sessions between 8.30 and 10. The rest of my day is spent meeting or taking calls with founders, writing, and working on other projects.

Not much has changed in this department due to COVID other than heavy reliance upon Zoom.

If anything, I have more time for projects and self care because I’m not commuting and running around the city.

I can get more done in the way with about 70% of the time.

On his transition to coaching.

For me, there were a few dynamics at play.

One, about two and a half years ago, I went and trained as a coach.

There's an orientation and a mindset around coaching, which is this idea of creating a safe and trusting space for your partner or client.

That's a real dynamic, and something that I believe is the key role and responsibility for any great coach.

It's all based on service and this idea of holding the partner’s agenda to help them get to where they want to go. 

In investing, you show up and your goal isn't to necessarily create that safe space.

It's less about honoring the person's agenda on the other side, rather focusing on your agenda and objectives.

There's a real power dynamic between investors and founders, whether it's recognized or not. 

In transitioning to coaching, I wanted to play a role where I could create a safe and trusting environment and be able to cover what I call the 'inner game of startups' and the 'outer game of startups'.

The inner game is about managing that emotional roller coaster, where the outer game is about dealing with strategy and tactics.

Given that I have nearly 10 years as an operator and 8+ years as an institutional investor, I'm able to flex up and down both sides of that spectrum.

On blurring the lines.

When I was exclusively an institutional VC, the conversations were all business. I would meet with an entrepreneur and run through a general business update.

Now I'm coming at conversations from an angle of being an advisor or coach. 

I would say the lines are definitely starting to blur.

It’s a different orientation that’s more based on service.

When I work with an entrepreneur today, I'm almost suppressing my own interests and letting them really drive the agenda and the desired outcomes of the meeting so that they can get the most value out of the interaction.

On practicing presence.

I don't have notifications on my phone. That's a really important one.

I also schedule breaks in my day.

One of my best hacks is defaulting to 30/45m meetings or calls. It gives me at least 15m in between to breathe and think. 

The other practice I think is incredibly underrated is breathing.

Anytime I feel like I'm in my own head or taken away by certain emotions, I always come back to my breath.

It’s a great hack to bring me into the moment.

Also, when I was back in the city after a long day of back to back to back meetings, I would take my AirPods out as I got out of my last meeting, throw my phone in my backpack, and just ride the six train home for half an hour.

It felt so great to just cut off all stimulation. 

Finally, I think note-taking is really underrated.

It’s also helpful for maintaining presence. Unless I forget my notebook, which can happen at times if I'm trying to go too fast, I'll jot notes down in a meeting to reflect in real-time on the things that I'm hearing and seeing.

On his meditation habit.

I'm a big believer that all you need is yourself, but I’ll typically time my meditations using 10% Happier. I usually do an unguided meditation and just set a timer. When the bell goes off 20 to 25 minutes later, I get on with my day.

I started meditating about five and a half years ago. I went for summer vacation and read the book The Power of Now, which piqued my interest in the practice.

It had such a profound effect on me that I came home from that vacation and I called one of my friends who had practiced for over a decade and said to her:

"Hey! I want to learn how to meditate."

She introduced me to one of her friends that was a teacher, and from there I studied trans meditation, which is effectively Transcendental Meditation.

TM is a 20m practice, twice a day, which I followed consistently for about 2.5 years.

I've actually been into yoga for much longer though. I moved to Seattle in 2003, and there was a studio not too far from where I lived, so I gave it a try.

Yoga is effectively a moving meditation.

But, I didn't really start doing silent meditation until five and a half years ago.

Recently, I went to a 10-day Vipassana silent retreat and that's when I started to seriously follow mindful meditation, which is the style that I practice now.

On balancing work and play.

I'll be honest, the only thing that allows Eliza and I to fully separate work & play is going upstate. Both of us love what we do so it can be tough to separate them.

When I come home at the end of the day, I'll often make dinner and then go right back to work. But, I don't feel like it's a hindrance at all.

This is what I love to do.

I would say, honestly, I have quite a bit of balance in the form of meditation, exercise, getting outdoors, and spending time with different groups of friends outside of tech, whether that’s in my coaching community and otherwise.

If we didn't have a little baby at home, I'd probably work a hundred hours a week. And by work, I don't just mean the act of responding to emails.

It's thinking, writing, and reading too.

If I read a book on neuroscience, to me that’s work. But it's also play.

On his evening routine.

About an hour before bed, I make sure to turn my phone off and pick up a book.

I always have a stack of books on my night table, though recently I've been reading my Kindle.

I'm currently reading How Emotions Are Made, written by a Professor at Northeastern, my alma mater. I'm also re-reading Coaching For Performance, which I highly recommend to anyone interested in coaching.